Jethro Tull vs. the Segway PT
I was driving to work today, listening to Jethro Tull, when I saw a guy in a white lab coat ”zooming” down the street (sidewalk) on a Segway. Funny thing is, I’ve seen this guy before - we have similar morning schedules, it seems. I thought to myself, “People think Jethro Tull is lame, but in reality, Segways are lame.” I thought about Will Ferrell’s mockery of the “jazz flute” in Anchorman and got angry. I’m not saying I like jazz flutes or the term “jazz flute” a whole lot - I think it’s kind of silly, to tell you the truth - but I like Jethro Tull. I like Jethro Tull because it sounds like castle music - Ian Anderson has the voice of a minstrel (as does Jeremy Enigk and, to a lesser extent, Jeffrey Mangum - 2 more of my favorites).
- Segways are 2-wheeled electric vehicles. PT means “personal transporter.”
- Previous code names for this thing were Fred Upstairs and Ginger, after Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
- The Segway stays balanced when not in motion with the help of a computer.
- 12 mph is the maximum speed of a Segway.
- Apparently the market for Segways is police, warehouses, military bases - large spaces, basically. I can see the sense in that, but I refuse to see the sense in using Segways to commute to work or travel down the street. I absolutely refuse.
- Price ranges from around $5,500 to $6,500.
- Inventor, Dean Kamen said that the Segway “will be to the car what the car was to the horse and buggy.” How is that so, I wonder.
- Steve Jobs has said that the Segway will be “bigger than computers” but admitted that “the design sucks.”
- The company’s stayed silent about their earnings, which surely indicates that they’re not doing all that well.
- People play polo on Segways.
Give me a good reason why Segways deserve my time and I’ll put these facts in a better order, but they’re staying like that for now because I hate Segways. I feel embarrassed when I watch parades and I feel embarrassed when I see people on Segways.
- Jethro Tull has sold more than 60 million albums worldwide.
Sure, Ian Anderson stands on one foot when he plays the flute, but at least he’s not standing on a Segway.
